I am a registered sex offender in Texas. My offense is on record as one count of “indecency with a minor – sexual contact”. I committed this act. I broke the law of our land. I was 42 and she was 13. I took a plea bargain and am on probation for the next eight years. I don’t have to tell you what a nightmare distance restriction and the public sex offender registry have made my life. Most SOs have things so much worse than I do.
I hated that my court appointed attorney made me plead “guilty”. I was in jail for eight months, a drop in the bucket compared to what some endure, but the whole while I kept maintaining that I was not guilty. I expected a psychiatric evaluation. I expected that I’d be able to have friends and family be character witnesses for me, people who would know that I would never harm a child. None of that came to pass. The lawyer bullied and terrified me into pleading guilty.
I did commit the act. It was illegal and for that reason I should not have done it.
In that moment, though, I didn’t feel that it was “wrong”. I loved the girl. I wasn’t romantically drawn to her, but I cared about her deeply. I wanted for all the world to be a caregiver and guardian for her. She called me “best friend” and I wore that in my heart as a badge of honor. Her love for me gave me a sense of purpose. I would have done anything for her. In the moment that I committed the act I believed I was doing what she wanted me to do. I still have reasons to believe that was the case.
This website of yours is so brave! What I wouldn’t give to have a chance to publicly declare that even though I committed a crime according to the laws of this cowardly society, my act was motivated by loving affection, not evil intent. I did not force the girl and I did not hurt her. All of the traumatic harm that she will have to deal with, in my opinion, will come from society telling her that what happened was “bad” and her attempting to reconcile that with the experience of it happening with someone she loved and trusted, and that she actually enjoyed the experience that they are telling her was evil.
It is unusual for me to be able to safely share my truth. I’m supposed to be ashamed of my sickness. I honestly don’t normally have desires for minors. I can’t imagine trying to have a romantic relationship with anyone under 30. Young people are sometimes visually sexually appealing to me, but that’s true for EVERYONE. Everyone likes the look of youth. Our country’s hypocrisy is sometimes astonishing. Look at our movies, our music lyrics, our commercials and then tell me with a straight face that attraction to youth isn’t our nation’s true religion.
Anyway, thank you for giving this place to say what I truly feel. If you are able to make that city St. Sebastian happen I’d love to move there and contribute whatever skills I could offer.
Great to hear from you, Daniel.
We don’t judge here. We support the pedosexual community in America. We realize that the political atmosphere is to hate pedosexual men and women. But we are gaining momentum, and beginning to push back against the lies and manipulations that judge pedosexuals as predators or child rapists or child molesters. We are not any of those things. Although we are bound to follow the law, we are not bound at the mouth. We must all stand up, and speak out! It takes enormous time and energy to advocate, but it is the right time. So, IFA is beginning the great political push toward national sanity. And we welcome you as a friend and as a brother.
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